WOULDN'T it be awesome if every person we met were genuine and perfectly comfortable and confident in their own skin?
It would be so much easier to find the people with whom you can connect deeply.
Unfortunately, many people are not comfortable with who they are, and so they try to be the person they think others would want them to be. This stems from a deep need for social acceptance that they feel their own personality cannot provide.
Often, being fake is a survival skill that these people have learned in order to protect themselves from getting close to anyone; if they never reveal who they truly are, they’re never in danger of being inevitably hurt.
Having someone like this in your life can be difficult, especially if you suspect that under all the fakeness, there is a genuinely likable person. Here are a few tips on how to handle a fake person that’ll help you navigate these somewhat challenging waters.
1. Don’t react emotionally to the fake behaviour from your friend. Even when you’re beyond aggravated at the fake behaviour, try to keep your temper in check. Over-reacting may be the feedback this person is seeking. If the fake person is telling lies, and you know the truth, explain that you know the truth and that you feel they are lying, but do so with no anger or judgment. Let the person know that you can see right through who they are pretending to be.
2. Let the person know that they don’t have to be anyone but who they truly are. A little unconditional love and acceptance will go a long way with this type of person. Allowing them to feel that may be the first time they’ve ever had the opportunity. This can help them feel safer to be who they are, instead of someone they think you want them to be. Fake people are often caught in the lies they tell to perpetuate their intended stories and letting them know that it’s just not necessary can open a door that might just change their life.
3. If nothing else seems to work, you may have to just limit your time with the fake person or cut them from your life altogether. It’s a hard decision to make but may be necessary to protect your own mental health. If you limit the time you spend with them, you limit the aggravation they can potentially cause you. If you’re forced to be social with them, try to keep a distance, and keep communications polite, but short.
Many people I work with, who come to me for self esteem issues, are just the type of person who gets frustrated when someone is not being honest with them. They feel obliged to trust these people even though, deep down, they know the other person is being fake. This is because we have been brought up to trust people, it’s a nice way to be.
When I say ‘deep down’ I’m talking about ‘at an unconscious level’ and this is where hypnosis is affective at changing those old ways of thinking. This allows you to manage the fake people at a new level. If you would like more information on how hypnosis can help you change, then you can contact me on www.feel-good.today.